Hello Everyone:
As promised, we wanted to keep you posted on the what has been happening since being elected as a Delegate to the National Democratic Convention in Denver, CO.
Have you ever wanted to ask someone a question, but were afraid to? Well, in one of the replies to the congratulatory email Gary sent out someone, overcame that fear and asked me a question that prompted a "conversation on race". I believe it is the type of dialogue Barack Obama envisioned Americans having when he gave his speech on race. I hope you find it interesting and will post a reply. The conversation is outlined below:
Lisa, Gary and Gary, Jr.
WOW!
first please do keep me posted. This is exciting news. And I’m just an outsider watching. So I can’t imagine how exciting this is for you guys. Being a white guy, in a country that has always elected males to the top office, and all those males being white guys too, we’ve never faced this decision.
So Lisa, let me ask you–I am sure that you have selected Obama to support because he is your choice as best candidate. But I am curious–did the choice between supporting a woman or a black man cause you any curiosity? I commend your choice, by the way. Maybe me being neither black nor female created no outside influences that might have shadowed my choice. But when writing that, I wonder how you dealt with that–the choice of two unique selections?
Here was my reply:
Thanks for the congratulations! We have been so moved by the outpouring of support that we have received from people. We think this election is truly historic and pivotal in our nations future. So much so, that it actually motivated us to get up and do something!
Thank you for your question. It is a great complement that you feel comfortable enough to ask me that, so I will be totally honest with you. If Barack Obama had not come along, we would gladly have been Clinton supporters. Actually, until we actually started to listen to his message, we were still Clinton supporters.
Gary actually asked me the same question. As a black women, where did I identify most? Here is what I told him:
In this county, I am black first and a women second. I have to overcome the subconscious thoughts people have when they first meet, see, or encounter me. The first thing they see is Black. How do I know this? Because it is not commented that I am a woman. It is that I am a black woman. The issue of race is still on the front burner, even if people don’t choose to acknowledge it. Things have improved in a major way, but there is so much more work to be done.
My decision to support Barack is not because he is half-black. It is because he is half-white. He has the ability to reach in an bring about a healing, that if complete, can move us all to another level. A level that I don’t think has even been acknowledged as being there or being attainable, by most of us. We need more than just a economy boost, although that is basic. I think we need an awakening to the fact that we are all inter-dependent and need to work together to accomplish what is in everyone’s best interests. I think he can lead the movement in that direction, but we all must participate.
I could go on regarding foreign policy, taxes, honesty, etc, but I won’t. I hope this answers your question. Feel free to engage us at any time.
And his reply follows:
My first reaction, Lisa, to what you’ve written–changed almost as soon as I thought it. Your comment about being black first; woman second hit me at first as incorrect.
But then, I stopped to remove me and my own feelings from my reaction, and instead looked at it as you describe it–and know that you are right.
Example–a month ago, I was with some friends at a restaurant lounge when one of the wait staff walked by. And someone commented that she was an "awfully cute young black woman." I chastised him for his comment. He and the others got all hung up on my fussing at him, thinking that I was referring to sexist connotations, as in don’t compliment females, etc.
I explained that no, my comments were not directed at the "cute", the "woman" or even the "young" part, but rather the descriptive use of race, when he said "black."
Took me a few minutes to get everyone to see my point but I think that I finally did–that a. there was only one person at that time walking by us, so there was no need to qualify the statement with either black or young; we knew who he meant. and b. if the woman had been white, would he have said, "cute young white woman"? or would he simply have said, "cute young woman?" and if he would not have used the race designation to describe the white woman, then why would he feel the need to use the race designation of black to describe this particular woman?
And that by doing so, I felt that he was displaying his inherent racism–not malicious, not intended, not even directed–but the fact that he felt the need to add that designation to his description just points out that in his mind, he sees a distinction.
I remember once telling a college professor that I felt that I was not prejudiced by race; he answered me by saying, "then, you are truly an amazing white man." I accept his point. I think that our need to distinguish person A from person B takes the lazy way out, the "old fashioned" way out, and falls back on the obvious–color of skin, build of body (fat man, skinny woman), gender–rather than working to find the true heart of the person and know him/her for that. In my half-century plus of living on this earth, I believe that I’ve made tremendous strides for a good old southern boy–but even I fall back on those lazy ways sometimes, sorry to say.
I wanted to post this to encourage the dialogue to continue. We are all in this together and we feel that conversation that leads to understanding can only improve the situation for everyone. Wouldn’t it have been great if Jesse Helms had been able to engage in dialog like this.
Please post your thoughts to keep the dialogue going.
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Please join me in congratulating my wonderful wife, 
